I have a problem with the man
which lingers
on the line between
absolute attraction
and undefinable disgust
to be so drawn to him
but so repelled by his nature
to enjoy the way his eyes wander over me
and then afterwards - the feeling of being used
before his hands have even touched me
how the same thing I want him to do
could be the same thing
that will make me never look at him again
it's something about
this animalistic urge
which I still haven't learned
to fully control
to fully accept
his need for my body
is so obviously floating
in obliviousness
he doesn't even try to understand it
and meanwhile
how it flatters me to feel beautiful
but frustrates me to be seen
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