I wait for a door to open

I wait for a door to open
as days go by
the city moves circles
I'm on the outside looking in
as days go by
I get no invite
I stopped asking
I stopped knocking
they told me to smile
so I keep smiling
I stand here
as days go by
I wait for a door to open
I wait for a door to open

I wait 
I wait
I wait until

I kick the thing in

el viajero

I read poems in Spanish
to prepare myself for singing
el viajero, part man, part moon
he writes me like a prophet writes a girl
I choose my words carefully
maybe he could teach me something
when I tell her she says
'maybe love teaches us nothing' 

and she wonders

why I confuse my need for passion
with the hunger to learn
if I am so in need of wisdom
why don't I spend time at libraries
between the lines of books
instead of searching between his arms?

but I don't crave books
I crave his hands
"el viajero, I am tired,
I sleep and sleep and only awake when I dream of you"

my friend tells me
to sleep all I want
because one day I will wake anyways

"rest and get back to life", she says
"things are great out here"

in the wilderness

I plant myself in soil
that lets me grow

I use my tongue to rebel
and my fingers to dig dirt

I leave to survive
and when I come
I shake my legs
like a fish on land

I riot because I love myself
and you never understood that

we separate cowardly
I cut you off at the roots

now I need no roof
my heart grows
in the wilderness

big city catharsis

get a new dress
eat less meat
dance without drugs
boycott your inbox
write handwritten letters
drink better whisky
sing to the deaf
talk kindly to your neighbours
leave notes in the elevator
plan big parties
be humble to changes
book festival tickets
count your blessings
cut your hair
get the extra fries
pay extra for sauce
tell your friends you miss them
ask your mom how she does
open your windows
be ready for spring
in case of emergency
upload new profile pic

last lesson learned

nothing tickles me
like that freedom
served on a plate 
honey that tears open
then drips down
is all of that for me?
accept it with two hands 
be a good girl 
take every bite
you already feel it, dont you?
letting go is like
eating and staying hungry
(my baby taught me his last lesson)
now letting go 
is the hard way of 
returning home

the seeds of two hearts

I was never asking for
a shell of a man
I am turning my back
so you can bloom into flesh

the irony of you
becoming everything I wanted
once I am gone

why couldn't I be the one
to water you, my dear?
watch buds turn into flowers
the seeds of two hearts

goodbye to your presence
goodbye to your raw care

I leave so
you can become
complete without me

when the earth was still flat

remind me of it, I have been here before
when the earth was still flat and
we believed we would fall down at the edges
if we walk too far

remind me that fear is an illusion
even if the taste is vivid, I have been here before

be my old friend

remind me of the curves of the earth

remind me to keep walking