what my days look like

if you wonder, my love

what my days look like

let me tell you of the fantasies

that make this place real

you see, I pretend I live here

that is how I leave bed, that's how I get dressed

putting on fresh socks, washing my teeth

I pretend I live here

and has lived here for long

I pretend
that the grandma next door

who fries the codfish

smiles through the open window

knows my name

she's Ana Luísa
and I borrow sugar from her

sometimes, I take out her dog

I pretend

I’m just about to meet someone

that I have a studio space

in the neighbourhood up the hills

that I make enough money

to eat a bowl of caracóis by the miradour at sunset

I pretend

I know the musicians that

play on the corner to Rua Dom Pedro

that they invite me to sing

to live samba nights each Sunday

I pretend I

fix my hair in salons
that it turns copper and gold

that the sun here makes me braver 

that I buy my groceries in Portuguese

and come home 

to my carpet, my little flowers

my curtain, my creaking floor

I unpack and pretend

to stay forever these next days

what else do you wonder

when you wonder, my love?

in between it all

I remember

the way you make

my legs tremble

the way you make
my voice shake

so don't worry

if in the other moments
I pretend I don't know you
that I'm just about to meet you
in this other life

I would invite you over for coffee
sit on my patio
wave to Ana Luísa
knowing she will tell me later
how pretty that boy was